A FAMILY TRAGEDY

What could be your feeling when a tragedy happens in your family and you're not there? When they need your help and you're not there? Sometimes, money isn't just enough because your presence is needed...


It was a very exhausting day in school. As I got home, we ate our dinner sitted like maniquins. I did not know why but all of us were just tired. We got to sleep early, and the house was quiet then. The ring of my phone woke me up in the middle of the night. It was my sister, crying on the other line telling me that my father just passed away. - Feb. 13, 2009 (USA)

Feb. 14 - I had no sleep after I learned what happened. I tried to stay calm so to organize what to do next. Early in the morning I fixed myself to go to school to ask permission to file for emergency leave.

I cannot prevent myself to cry as my co workers came one by one in my room to express their sympathy for my family. Before I left the building, each of them contributed an amount for my trip.

Feb. 15 - The whole night, my wife tried to book my flight over the phone and internet. I lost my patience talking to different agents so she took over. She was able to find one scheduled 4:45 of feb. 15. I packed my stuff with some chocolates for my nieces and nephews. I went to the airport as early as 3 o'clock to avoid delay and traffic. After 3 years of not going home to the Philippines, somehow the airport was a strange place to me. I sat on a gate close my assigned one after confirming to the attendant my name and schedule. While waiting, I texted my wife and phoned my co teacher that I was about to leave. - only to find out that the plane left, and there was no other schedule to catch my international flight in LA.

Feb. 16 - I begun to lose hope as I listened to Mona's conversation with the travel agent of Malaysia airlines. They were the one to arrange for a new flight schedule after that unexplainable situation I had in the airport the previous day. After long hours of talking over the phone, my wife was able to set a flight over Northwest and Malaysian and Pal.

Feb. 17 - Rossie, my 4 year old daughter asked, "Why do you need to go home to the Philippines?" I just can't explained to a child the tragedy of the family, so I just told her I will visit her Lolo Oly in the Philippines. Finally, I was able to get the 2:30 flight. A very long flight because I had to go to St. Paul and to Wisconsin before I got to LA. From LA, I had to walk a long way to get to my international flight to Taiwan. In Taiwan, there was a very long time to lay over to Pal. I arrived in Manila at 1:30 pm and ran to get a domestic flight at 2:30.

Feb. 18 - My father in law fetched me at Dumaguete Airport at exactly 4 o'clock. We reached the house past 7 in the evening, and there were already lots of people getting ready to stay the whole night internment. I was very emotional when I saw my mother sitted beside my dad's casket, looking very old with her dress. Everything had changed since I left, even the faces of my siblings. I kept my tears in one dark corner of the house.

Feb. 19-21 I did not remember getting a good sleep since I the day I left. My sister, Boging and I made the plans and preparations for burial. My other sister from Germany also arrived, it was a sad reunion as I thought, though we tried to keep it as normal as possible. All siblings were present except for one brother, Dodong. For some reasons, he left us before. We were together once when I was still Manila but after I left for US, he's again gone and haven't heard of him since then.

On the eve before the last day of internment, I was looking at the crowd of people who are present. Almost everyone was there, and it seems like my dad called everyone to be around. Cousins, nieces and nephews were there and relatives that I do not anymore recognize were present to show support.

Feb. 22 - I woke up from a nap at 5:30 am. I realized the snacks and beverages for the burial were not yet ready. I asked one of my neices - Wilma to help me out. We were running with the time because we have to go out at 9 in the morning. One of my sisters left to go home, despite that my father has yet to be buried. It made me mad, but I just let it go.
I thank all of my relatives and families who were with us that day and the whole internment. As we approached the cemetery, I cannot help myself to cry. I bid goodbye to my dad and took glance for the last time of his face. I told him his legacy to me of which I will keep in my entire life. He did not know it, but he had a very important legacy that he left to me as his youngest son and it helped me mold myself to what I am now. I am proud of my father and he is the best father to me.

Then I realized that I have to leave because my flight is already scheduled. My heart broke to see my mom and my sister Boging crying. It was very hard to leave but I have to. I forced myself to say goodbye to all of them. It was very painful to look at their eyes, so I just turn my back. I know they would understand.

(In memory of my Dad, Lope Olympio Amante Letigio who died on Feb. 13, 2009)